I realize the topic matter is a bit heavy for a first blog, but hear me out. Square burgers are being claimed as fresh off the cow, TV shows have been shortened to 3-minute episodes, and I'm beginning to pale like an overworked magazine editor in the city. I didn't know how an "at commercial" conversation during The City with my loyal bestie could possibly lead to my realization that the impending end of the world is just around the corner.
Take Wendy's. The ability to perfectly pack burger meat into a square with each order is a skill far beyond the reaches of my imagination. I would like to meet these men and women who so symmetrically mold meat in order to make my Double Jr. Cheese Burger Deluxe fresh to order. Stick with what you know best Wendy's and please save yourself the time of convincing both your diners and yourself that your patties have never shacked up in a freezer. We all know where your beef has been...
What the hell is Valemont? Taunting Twi-hards worldwide (who more than likely also live vicariously through The Hills and The City) with a "Vampire-like mystery" is just wrong. If you watch the "next week on The City" teaser you know doubt will be sucked into Valemont, the gruesome 3-minute long mini-mini-drama immediately following MTV's "reality" show Tuesday. Sucked in may imply interest, and in no way is interest in this itty-bity-drama series possible. By the time you figure out what you're watching it is over. Has mankind become so lazy that a 3-minute episode can constitute entertainment?
Lastly, ever since tanning beds were labeled carcinogens and the summer sun peaced-out, I am beginning to see the palest of pale that my Italian skin can possible get. Being a vampire for Halloween will be easier than I originally thought...seeing as I'm already on the road to resembling Bella Swan post change.
And, that's The Sass.
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