Everyone always tells you "Don't drink and drive," but what they don't mention is taking the safe route of public transportation has clear and present danger as well. I can count the times on my left hand (...and right hand, and feet) that I've taken a drunken stumble. I have a scratched up phone and a dent in my head to prove it.
But it never crossed my mind that oncoming trains pose a very possible threat, and a little misstep can turn a wild night into a deathly encounter. When they say stay behind the yellow line in the subway: STAY BEHIND THE YELLOW LINE. Or even better, just have a seat on the puke-covered benches—truth is you'll probably be surrounded by your own vom in the near future.
It seems all types of motorize transportation will basically screw you when you've been drinking. Driving yourself gets you a free trip to the slammer, taking a cab poses a possible abduction leading to a warehouse raping, and taking the subway, well:
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